The Darwin Awards: Children’s Edition

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Photo by Amy Shamblen on Unsplash

A is for Amanda, who was crushed by a panda

B is for Ben, who always drew on himself with a pen

C is for Clara, whose eye got infected from old mascara

D is for Daniel, who was bitten by a Cocker Spaniel

E is for Elise, who kept prank calling the police

F is for Faye, who devoured the entire all-you-can-eat buffet

G is for Garry, who thought the film was too scary

H is for Helen, whose head was hit by a melon

I is for Igor, who refused to do a single chore

J is for Jack, who choked on his afternoon snack

K is for Kim, who didn’t know how to swim

L is for Lily, who thought seat belts were silly

M is for Matt, who just got too fat

N is for Nina, who on a busy road she could be a ballerina

O is for Osama, who tried to ride a llama

P is for Parker, who didn’t go home when it got darker

Q is for Quinn, who found his dad’s gin

R is for Ross, who always forgot to floss

S is for Seth, who got tickled to death

T is for Tia, who climbed into the oven of a pizzeria

U is for Uma, who tried to outrun a puma

V is for Valentina, who fell into the marina

W is for Willow, who cut off her ear like Van Gogh

X is for Xander, who was extremely allergic to coriander

Y is for Yvette, who tried to swallow a whole baguette

Z is for Zeke, who got beat up because he was a geek

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